Windy Desert Morning
The wind is raging outside. Large currents of air are bursting through each crack, alley and building. My neighbor's wind chimes are tinkling along, and I can hear leaves scratch past our "welcome" mat outside our front door. Loose boards squeak with each gust blown past them. It's a symphony, with the wind conducting each sound to begin and end, initiating the beginning of the song.
It's so lively and spontaneous. Stormy weather always makes me feel optimistic and magical. When the weather changes I like to believe it encourages change in our life. That the storms add to the energy already flowing in our life.
Dj is sleeping, his body hasn't changed it's sleeping position for the last hour. He is so still, and yet outside the window next to him the world is in turmoil and movement. The juxtaposition isn't lost on me. And I want to know what he is dreaming of, his breathing so quiet and calm, his face showing signs of peaceful rest.
And I am applying for jobs, going through my wedding planning to do list, drinking coffee, eating a donut and considering if the weather is causing me to move faster or if I am feeling anxious to get things going myself.
Last night I finished reading a book that I had bought in Maryland back in August with my mom and family. It's called "Temperance Creek" a memoir by Pam Royes. It's four-hundred pages of Pam's journey into the canyons of Oregon (Hell's Canyon specifically) and her budding relationship with a Vietnam Veteran. I wasn't very invested halfway in, but the ending changed the whole thing for me. Books can be so mysterious like that, seeming one way and throwing you a curve-ball to end the adventure you thought you had figured out. I love reading, but finishing a book is always bitter-sweet. I think book-hangover is real, when you're still living in the world of the book you finished and aren't ready to move on. It's a strange occurrence, but happens all the same.
The wind is still singing, and the storming symphony is nowhere near ending. Change is in the air. Soon, this desert landscape will be gone from my window and instead a city or suburb will. And hopefully one of these jobs I'm applying for will become my new place of work.
As an ENFP, I am nervous when it comes to decisions, because I love options. I love choices. But at the end of the day I have to decide, on what post to write, what to wear, where to work, where to live and what donut to buy. All big decisions, and some more influential than others. I want to explore everything this world has to offer me and leave nothing unexplored.
Time to take in account the new energy swirling inside of me and outside my desert world and to take a chance on decisions, praying they will be life-giving and freeing. To close my eyes and listen to the music of the wind and let it's song wash over me.